@#$%^&* (whatever best describe this post)

Hectic. That is the only word that best describe my work now. No time to even sit down and rest. Been running to and fro the labs. I am required almost everywhere especially practical lessons that uses datalogger or tablet PC. This term their timetable is design in such a way that they don’t even give us any chance to flex our muscles to give us some slack. Their practicals are all cramp together one after another with all the labs being occupied. The teachers are so demanding which makes our job much more difficult. Every single experiment has to be place on their bench. Once the bell goes we have to quickly go round and top up all their reagents. Not 1 or 2 reagents but plenty. 2 labs some more. Bleargh!

The teachers do pity us but they say they cant do anything. Term 3 is like that. This school is in the process of being an autonomous school and therefore the amount of work to achieve the standard. Today we didn’t even managed to prepare for Monday experiment because the school is busy preparing for their corporate video to “sell away” the school. Early morning I was already asked to prepare gel electrophoresis for them but realized the school had no TBE buffer. The teacher told me they gonna fake it so just used tap water would do. So I prepared all the materials required for their DNA sequencing experiment but the funny thing is the teachers have no idea how to do it. I dunno wats gonna happen tomorrow. Hopefully they know how to fake intelligently.

So many things have been running through my mind. A lot of task to complete in which I owed my supervisor 2 tasks. The task which I abhor the most, PPCR (Pre & Post course review). Im supposed to check with my senior what are the things to condemn but up till there is no progress to it and it will due this month. The other is to do PPCR for “the use of datalogger” course I attended last month. As for this I don’t know when it will due cos my supervisor insisted that I MUST do this for my PPCR. But I think I know the reason why. Because he don’t even know how to use it and so he needs me to have a good knowledge on it and be around everytime he has lesson using datalogger. He said he will never catch up with the technology now. Its getting way to advance.

Next, the mentoring thingy. No comments. I find this batch of students a little bit challenging. Very difficult to approach and tackle. The prog coordinator has been giving me a lot of info about them andddddd their probs are really challenging to me. I need to meet them real soon BUT my partner and I are both having difficulty to find a suitable date where both of us are free. Argh!!

PATIENCE. Where are u when I need you? Test. Test. Test.

Bro: Kak, kakak dah ader matair eh?

Me: Ada. Matair ngan Allah.

Bro: bedek lah. Bilang abang lah sape.

And the conversation was interrupted by my dad.

Dad: Abang encourage kakak ader matair?

SILENCEEEEEEEE. Haiz.

Bapa aku tak kasi aku kahwin. Sampai bila pun aku takle kenal ngan lelaki. *SMACKS FOREHEAD*

Why do my parents don’t allow me to do this and that but when my brothers did it they don’t really scold them? UNFAIR!!

I cant say this issue out with my parents. I had once done it and the consequences were terrible.

They mentioned about percampuran lelaki ngan perempuan but still my brothers can keluar with the girls. Part aku smue takle. Bleargh!

When my brothers go out with shorts they didn’t scold them but when I am at home with my cousins (the guys) around without tudung, they will scold me. My dad will always check on me before I leave the house. He wanna make sure my aurat are fully covered. but what about my brothers? they didnt even check on them.

Bleargh! I am not saying I don’t like to cover my aurat but where is justice?

Both my brothers have their own sayang. My parents know and they didn’t really scold them. Cuba aku? Confirm kene interrogate. blh fengsan

My brothers takya buat keje rumah. Serak kan rumah mmg keje dorg lah. Whenever I got home from work, first thing to do is to clean up the house. Abg aku yg off tak buat keje rumah satu hari takpe. Blh tido jek. Mak aku tak bising. Cuba aku off atau ambik cuti, klu tak buat keje rumah dah confirm kene membebel oleh pihak berkuasa.

When my brother go out with his sayang takla kene marah sgt. Cuba aku? Da confirm NO-NO. They claimed they never encouraged my brothers to go out with their sayangs but if they don’t encourage why didn’t they say NOOO to them when they wanna go out with their love ones. My dad can still tease them with their love ones. Didn’t that show that they encouraged my brothers to have gf?

If I question them on their unfairness they will say this same old phrase:

“kalau ayah ngan ibu ckp tak blh maknanyer tak blh. Kalau kakak degil juga nak …., buat lah apa kakak suka. Kalau ayah ngan ibu sebagai ayah tak blh tegur kakak, lebih baik ayah ngan ibu mati. Kakak keluar and buat apa kakak suka and jangan balik rumah lg.” HAIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ….

Im sick of going through this same thing everytime. It’s definitely killing my patience but I had no choice but to shut my mouth and pray that Allah will guide me to the right path.

Mak aku tgh bad moodddddddddddddddddddd lgggggg……………. URGH! Dia sorg jek blh bad mood. Smue kene ikut rentak dia. Klu aku bad mood dia marah2. HAIZZZ.. *sabar nisa sabar*

Ini adalah ujian yang hebat bagi diriku. Memang menguji kesabaran dan keimanan aku habis cos its constantly happening to me. O Allah, I seek ur guidance.